The Party Continues. Pt 2
Thursday. The day of reckoning. The day that brought the most stress to me early in the week. The day of................
The Bachelor Party!
Thursday began exceptionally early when mi madre rolled into town at about 5am. I rolled out of bed to the tune of Wendy needing a shower and typical girly stuff, so I left her ass there and headed over to Perkins for breakfast with my fam. Don't even remember what I ate. Prolly the ole two egg combo.
Had some good conversations. Got some news on my sis, found out just how poor she's likely to be if neither her nor Tommy can get their heads out of their asses. Illustrated the difference between high maintenance women and good women to my bro using an analogy of BMWs and Jeep Wranglers. It flew over his head, as evidenced later in the weekend when passing a dealership, at which point he asked, "Hey Brian, are those the Jeeps you were talking about?" Good times.
Rolled home in time to get nabbed by the boys. We headed down to Wisconsin Dells to Mt. Olympus. That's the "Biggest Go-Kart and Waterslide Themepark in the World." I had a blast on the Helios track. I started out rocking on the "underwater" track, but rammed Boolah and got my throttle stuck at about 3/4 open. Joe loved the Medusa's Drop track. I did too, despite the go-kart theme of the day, which was, wait for it...........Shafe in a slow car. Seriously, at one point on an UPHILL stretch, Big Country and Nick passed me simultaneously on either side, with C-Dog giving me an "Is that all you got?" as he passed. At 120 pounds vs. the 180+ of everyone else, even poor driving doesn't account for being smoked in karts with restricted throttles. *shrug*
Regardless, had a good time in the karts and had even more fun on the water slides. Made me wish we'd spent more time in the water park, but we did that last and had to jet back to A-town. So, waterpark is the next big Non-convention Watchdogs event if I can swing it. As it stood, we got two good waterslide runs in, then hit the wave pool. That was a blast until I somehow (prolly a kid on a tube) drank a gallon of water on an inhale. In 8 feet of water. It was really strange keeping a clear, level head while my body kicked in the "Oh fuck, I'm drowning," response, but I finally made it around Joe, who couldn't tell I couldn't breath cause, well, I couldn't breath, and got outta the pool.
Then we sat around a bit waiting for someone to unlock Country's locker, cause the key prolly fell outta his pocket in the wave pool.
After that, back to A-town, which meant a nap for Nick (who'd been up all night driving) and myself. Not good naps, cause you never get one of those in a traveling vehicle, but naps nonetheless. Hit Appleton, grabbed tuxes and headed for food. Well, actually, the So Ill boys dropped Nick and I off to clean up a little bit, and here the story once again falls prey to miscommunication.
Apparently, on Wendesday when discussing restaurant options with Wendy and fam, Sai-Ram was recommended as great Indian food located next to Koreana the sushi restaurant. Since three people were speaking at the time, it evolved into Sai-Ram being great Indian food with a sushi bar. I hadn't mentioned sushi enough for the boys to recognize that as my quest for dinner, so when they hit Sai-Ram, they ordered up some grub. Things went downhill when Nick and I arrived to find no sushi available. This really pissed me off, because the frickin guy that I talked to when I called for directions assured me they had sushi. Still, the language barrier was obvious, and the employees/prolly owners were nice so I didn't want to cancel the guys order and uproot the whole group to find a sushi restaurant. We noticed Koreana's afterwards. Had we noticed it on the way in, I prolly would have ran next door on my own. *shrug* Regardless, the food was good, although I still don't really like Indian food much. Much to Wendy's disappointment.
From there, Nick, Boolah and I scored booze. We spent a little time in the motel room loving up the hot tub and alcohol and just bein' dudes. Someone mentioned a pillow fight, so we headed out for some titties. The Paradise Gentleman's Club turned out to be one of the most uninteresting places of its ilk I'd been to. That's my fault, because I picked it. Couldn't remember where Bean Snappers was. Nick got shafted on his lap dance because the girl went home, and most of the attention lavished on me came from a dancer that talked mostly about how cool her own wedding was. Despite, or because of, the guys constantly yelling out "He's the bachelor!" and depositing cash on various locations of my person.
Despite that, it was good fun. Boolah and Country decided someone needed to be the really drunk fuckers, and they filled in the role quite well. Quotes of the night stememd from both, including "We're in a Durango of lies," "Shut'p, the oxygen took a detour," and "There's no one I'd rather sit behind in my own truck than you, man."
Anything else that might have happened remains in the foggy depths of an alcohol laden brain. Or is being held in reserve for blackmail purposes later. ;)
However, Wendy's cool factor did shine once more. Apparently, one needn't actually be involved with crotch at all to leave with the aroma of crotch. A lesser (or more intelligent) man might have showered, but I didn't, operating on the assumption Wendy would suppose we'd hit the strip bar. Rather than flipping out and thinking I'd been screwing around, Wendy just dropped a "You smell musky, go to sleep," and that only after lieing around chatting about our respective evenings for almost an hour or so. Go super cool chic.
Welp, got an injured ankle here in the hospital so I better wrap this up. Tune in next time for Family Royale With Cheese or You Know That's Crappie, Right?
The Bachelor Party!
Thursday began exceptionally early when mi madre rolled into town at about 5am. I rolled out of bed to the tune of Wendy needing a shower and typical girly stuff, so I left her ass there and headed over to Perkins for breakfast with my fam. Don't even remember what I ate. Prolly the ole two egg combo.
Had some good conversations. Got some news on my sis, found out just how poor she's likely to be if neither her nor Tommy can get their heads out of their asses. Illustrated the difference between high maintenance women and good women to my bro using an analogy of BMWs and Jeep Wranglers. It flew over his head, as evidenced later in the weekend when passing a dealership, at which point he asked, "Hey Brian, are those the Jeeps you were talking about?" Good times.
Rolled home in time to get nabbed by the boys. We headed down to Wisconsin Dells to Mt. Olympus. That's the "Biggest Go-Kart and Waterslide Themepark in the World." I had a blast on the Helios track. I started out rocking on the "underwater" track, but rammed Boolah and got my throttle stuck at about 3/4 open. Joe loved the Medusa's Drop track. I did too, despite the go-kart theme of the day, which was, wait for it...........Shafe in a slow car. Seriously, at one point on an UPHILL stretch, Big Country and Nick passed me simultaneously on either side, with C-Dog giving me an "Is that all you got?" as he passed. At 120 pounds vs. the 180+ of everyone else, even poor driving doesn't account for being smoked in karts with restricted throttles. *shrug*
Regardless, had a good time in the karts and had even more fun on the water slides. Made me wish we'd spent more time in the water park, but we did that last and had to jet back to A-town. So, waterpark is the next big Non-convention Watchdogs event if I can swing it. As it stood, we got two good waterslide runs in, then hit the wave pool. That was a blast until I somehow (prolly a kid on a tube) drank a gallon of water on an inhale. In 8 feet of water. It was really strange keeping a clear, level head while my body kicked in the "Oh fuck, I'm drowning," response, but I finally made it around Joe, who couldn't tell I couldn't breath cause, well, I couldn't breath, and got outta the pool.
Then we sat around a bit waiting for someone to unlock Country's locker, cause the key prolly fell outta his pocket in the wave pool.
After that, back to A-town, which meant a nap for Nick (who'd been up all night driving) and myself. Not good naps, cause you never get one of those in a traveling vehicle, but naps nonetheless. Hit Appleton, grabbed tuxes and headed for food. Well, actually, the So Ill boys dropped Nick and I off to clean up a little bit, and here the story once again falls prey to miscommunication.
Apparently, on Wendesday when discussing restaurant options with Wendy and fam, Sai-Ram was recommended as great Indian food located next to Koreana the sushi restaurant. Since three people were speaking at the time, it evolved into Sai-Ram being great Indian food with a sushi bar. I hadn't mentioned sushi enough for the boys to recognize that as my quest for dinner, so when they hit Sai-Ram, they ordered up some grub. Things went downhill when Nick and I arrived to find no sushi available. This really pissed me off, because the frickin guy that I talked to when I called for directions assured me they had sushi. Still, the language barrier was obvious, and the employees/prolly owners were nice so I didn't want to cancel the guys order and uproot the whole group to find a sushi restaurant. We noticed Koreana's afterwards. Had we noticed it on the way in, I prolly would have ran next door on my own. *shrug* Regardless, the food was good, although I still don't really like Indian food much. Much to Wendy's disappointment.
From there, Nick, Boolah and I scored booze. We spent a little time in the motel room loving up the hot tub and alcohol and just bein' dudes. Someone mentioned a pillow fight, so we headed out for some titties. The Paradise Gentleman's Club turned out to be one of the most uninteresting places of its ilk I'd been to. That's my fault, because I picked it. Couldn't remember where Bean Snappers was. Nick got shafted on his lap dance because the girl went home, and most of the attention lavished on me came from a dancer that talked mostly about how cool her own wedding was. Despite, or because of, the guys constantly yelling out "He's the bachelor!" and depositing cash on various locations of my person.
Despite that, it was good fun. Boolah and Country decided someone needed to be the really drunk fuckers, and they filled in the role quite well. Quotes of the night stememd from both, including "We're in a Durango of lies," "Shut'p, the oxygen took a detour," and "There's no one I'd rather sit behind in my own truck than you, man."
Anything else that might have happened remains in the foggy depths of an alcohol laden brain. Or is being held in reserve for blackmail purposes later. ;)
However, Wendy's cool factor did shine once more. Apparently, one needn't actually be involved with crotch at all to leave with the aroma of crotch. A lesser (or more intelligent) man might have showered, but I didn't, operating on the assumption Wendy would suppose we'd hit the strip bar. Rather than flipping out and thinking I'd been screwing around, Wendy just dropped a "You smell musky, go to sleep," and that only after lieing around chatting about our respective evenings for almost an hour or so. Go super cool chic.
Welp, got an injured ankle here in the hospital so I better wrap this up. Tune in next time for Family Royale With Cheese or You Know That's Crappie, Right?
posted by Amazing Shafeman at 3:29 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home