The Caves of Greeves (yes, I know that's not the name, but what I don't know is, What is the name?)
Finally, an adventure!
Our hero's were left at the entrance to the cave system we're utilizing to sneak into the Big Evil's stronghold, allowing us to destroy his bad weather generator and ability to eaves drop on the Holy Councils telepathic utilities. G-leaf had left his army at home, figering they'd be a little upset by a high seas voyage followed by some serious spelunking. Last night, we entered that system. Pretty damn fun night, really.
Durbik, our guide let us know that these caves were constantly shifting ownership, being a sort of stronghold for whatever evil humanoid could hold them at present. There was much evidence, initially, that we'd be fighting hobgoblins. Further into the cave system, in fact, we discovered a completely dessimated patrol of hoblin body parts.
Thinking on a bit of distraction, G-leaf nabbed a foream and leg, which unfortunately turned out to be dinner for a monstrous Chuul lurking in the depths of the underground river near by. When the Chuul popped outta the water, G-leaf tried to be nice and give the arm back, but the thing kept coming. Burning hands? Steamed crab? No good. Kept coming.
The Chuul grabbed G-leaf before anyone could much other than fire a few ineffective arrows. Fortunately, a crazy random gnome covered in downish leapord fur is slippery when wet, and G-leaf slipped away. Unfortunately, that meant Durbik, who stood behind the gnome to avoid being Frizzle Fried, got paralyzed next round. Then Durbik got tossed into the singing Tren, further limiting our ability to hack up some Chuul.
In the meantime, Ollie switched from bow to longsword and hopped in, hacking some crab to bits. Still not enough, and knowing full well his scimitar wasn't gonna cut the mustard, G-leaf fell back to the old "Oh Crap, the CR rating for this monster is compeletely incorrect" spell - Harrier, a little known spell in Defenders of the Faith. Bringing in a virtually incorporal 4HD Dire Bat is always bad ass.
Shortly thereafter, Tren extricated himself from the now paralyzed Durbik and beset the beast with electric arrows. In short order, we had the Chuul diving back into its river hidey hole. Nice thing about Harrier is that it doesn't give up til it's dead, the enemy is dead, or the spell wears out. The Chuul died first.
With that threat eliminated, and Durbik still recovering for the great lake voyage, we tie a rope to him and head in for the Chuul. Shortly therafter, we begin to break through its chitonous hide in quest of crab meat. A little foliage in the river, called butter kelp by our guide of infinite wisdom, would go great with this funky flesh.
Unfortunately, a few javelins plink off the rocks next to us. Thinking we're gonna face a few little hobgobins, G-leaf pops a Produce Flame onto his fists, and Tren and Ollie look over the Chuul to discover a war party of 8 pissed Ogres coming at us. In fact, one goes so far as to kamikaze over the Chuul onto a flaming sphere and ranger sword, but still lives...
Nearly flanked and definitely outnumbered, three peel off for the dwarf, three leap over the Chuul heading up the middle, and two cross over to G-leaf's side, only to be met by flaming fists of fury, rocking out to Professor Nutbutter.
Durbik quikly dispatches one of the middle bastards, and Ollie rips into the wounded fuck. The third Chuul leaper joins in on the two on the gnome action. Ollie takes a club or two, but keeps trucking, and surprisingly, Gleaf shrugs off a couple of giant club bashes.
In the meantime, Gleaf invents a new tactic for Produce Flame.....Flaming Nut Punch. After about 4 rounds of gonadular fury, one Ogre goes down.
Tren attacks one of the ogre-a-tres on Gleaf, connects, then realizes he's a lover not a fighter, when said Ogre decides 1/2 elf looks tasty. He immediately changes tactics to the "run away" variety, but only to get a bit of working room. A little illusory magic to get some attention from the audience, a beautiful accapello performance, and two of the ogres are dumfounded. Following that up with some more bardic magic, and those same two ogres think Tren is their best friend and needs rescuing. Those three rounds there single handedly saved the party.
Unbeknownst to us, the human prisoner we'd only barely spotted at the beginning of the battle, managed to slip his bonds and dispatch his single guard in this time. A nearly magical, monk sprint later, combining a massive super kick to the back of the head with a last desperate flaming fist nut shot from the gnome, and a 2nd of the ogre/G-leaf orgy goes down.
On the other side of the field, Durbik is now only faced with one opponent, the other two having jumped in to help Tren. On top of that, said opponent is facing down a former comrade. That's easy potatoes for a dwarf of Durbik's stature.
Likewise, Ollie's dispatched the greviously wounded Kamikaze Orge, and turns to find a new ally, or rather a friend of a friend jumping on the next in line. Unfortunately, said next in line opened a serious can of whoop ass on the only other Ogre ever to have a bigger cack than he. Tren's buddy goes down hard and quick, and not in the way that makes baby Ogres. Ollie follows up with some more whoop ass, and all goes quiet.
While we discuss the fate of our new found friend, and sole surviving Ogre raiding party memeber, Durbik goes Iraqi and dispatches the poor guy before we can even think to butt rape him for information.
Much hacking up of chuul, eating for raw seaweed and crab, some underwater digging, and a bit of small talk later, and we're considerably more wealthy, a little better armored in the ranger front, and tromping along on a secret mission with a monk with no name that we just met. When we do set up camp, Gleaf eventually falls asleep to the sultry sounds of Durbik, threatening severe bodily harm to our new traveling companion if he's in anyway not what he seems. Sleep well, little gnome, sleep well.
Tune in next time for A Little Gnome and a Lot of Chitin or Seriously G-leaf, If You Want to Armor Your "Knights", There's Probably Someone in the Army That Can Do That...Please Leave the Chuul. It Reaks!
Our hero's were left at the entrance to the cave system we're utilizing to sneak into the Big Evil's stronghold, allowing us to destroy his bad weather generator and ability to eaves drop on the Holy Councils telepathic utilities. G-leaf had left his army at home, figering they'd be a little upset by a high seas voyage followed by some serious spelunking. Last night, we entered that system. Pretty damn fun night, really.
Durbik, our guide let us know that these caves were constantly shifting ownership, being a sort of stronghold for whatever evil humanoid could hold them at present. There was much evidence, initially, that we'd be fighting hobgoblins. Further into the cave system, in fact, we discovered a completely dessimated patrol of hoblin body parts.
Thinking on a bit of distraction, G-leaf nabbed a foream and leg, which unfortunately turned out to be dinner for a monstrous Chuul lurking in the depths of the underground river near by. When the Chuul popped outta the water, G-leaf tried to be nice and give the arm back, but the thing kept coming. Burning hands? Steamed crab? No good. Kept coming.
The Chuul grabbed G-leaf before anyone could much other than fire a few ineffective arrows. Fortunately, a crazy random gnome covered in downish leapord fur is slippery when wet, and G-leaf slipped away. Unfortunately, that meant Durbik, who stood behind the gnome to avoid being Frizzle Fried, got paralyzed next round. Then Durbik got tossed into the singing Tren, further limiting our ability to hack up some Chuul.
In the meantime, Ollie switched from bow to longsword and hopped in, hacking some crab to bits. Still not enough, and knowing full well his scimitar wasn't gonna cut the mustard, G-leaf fell back to the old "Oh Crap, the CR rating for this monster is compeletely incorrect" spell - Harrier, a little known spell in Defenders of the Faith. Bringing in a virtually incorporal 4HD Dire Bat is always bad ass.
Shortly thereafter, Tren extricated himself from the now paralyzed Durbik and beset the beast with electric arrows. In short order, we had the Chuul diving back into its river hidey hole. Nice thing about Harrier is that it doesn't give up til it's dead, the enemy is dead, or the spell wears out. The Chuul died first.
With that threat eliminated, and Durbik still recovering for the great lake voyage, we tie a rope to him and head in for the Chuul. Shortly therafter, we begin to break through its chitonous hide in quest of crab meat. A little foliage in the river, called butter kelp by our guide of infinite wisdom, would go great with this funky flesh.
Unfortunately, a few javelins plink off the rocks next to us. Thinking we're gonna face a few little hobgobins, G-leaf pops a Produce Flame onto his fists, and Tren and Ollie look over the Chuul to discover a war party of 8 pissed Ogres coming at us. In fact, one goes so far as to kamikaze over the Chuul onto a flaming sphere and ranger sword, but still lives...
Nearly flanked and definitely outnumbered, three peel off for the dwarf, three leap over the Chuul heading up the middle, and two cross over to G-leaf's side, only to be met by flaming fists of fury, rocking out to Professor Nutbutter.
Durbik quikly dispatches one of the middle bastards, and Ollie rips into the wounded fuck. The third Chuul leaper joins in on the two on the gnome action. Ollie takes a club or two, but keeps trucking, and surprisingly, Gleaf shrugs off a couple of giant club bashes.
In the meantime, Gleaf invents a new tactic for Produce Flame.....Flaming Nut Punch. After about 4 rounds of gonadular fury, one Ogre goes down.
Tren attacks one of the ogre-a-tres on Gleaf, connects, then realizes he's a lover not a fighter, when said Ogre decides 1/2 elf looks tasty. He immediately changes tactics to the "run away" variety, but only to get a bit of working room. A little illusory magic to get some attention from the audience, a beautiful accapello performance, and two of the ogres are dumfounded. Following that up with some more bardic magic, and those same two ogres think Tren is their best friend and needs rescuing. Those three rounds there single handedly saved the party.
Unbeknownst to us, the human prisoner we'd only barely spotted at the beginning of the battle, managed to slip his bonds and dispatch his single guard in this time. A nearly magical, monk sprint later, combining a massive super kick to the back of the head with a last desperate flaming fist nut shot from the gnome, and a 2nd of the ogre/G-leaf orgy goes down.
On the other side of the field, Durbik is now only faced with one opponent, the other two having jumped in to help Tren. On top of that, said opponent is facing down a former comrade. That's easy potatoes for a dwarf of Durbik's stature.
Likewise, Ollie's dispatched the greviously wounded Kamikaze Orge, and turns to find a new ally, or rather a friend of a friend jumping on the next in line. Unfortunately, said next in line opened a serious can of whoop ass on the only other Ogre ever to have a bigger cack than he. Tren's buddy goes down hard and quick, and not in the way that makes baby Ogres. Ollie follows up with some more whoop ass, and all goes quiet.
While we discuss the fate of our new found friend, and sole surviving Ogre raiding party memeber, Durbik goes Iraqi and dispatches the poor guy before we can even think to butt rape him for information.
Much hacking up of chuul, eating for raw seaweed and crab, some underwater digging, and a bit of small talk later, and we're considerably more wealthy, a little better armored in the ranger front, and tromping along on a secret mission with a monk with no name that we just met. When we do set up camp, Gleaf eventually falls asleep to the sultry sounds of Durbik, threatening severe bodily harm to our new traveling companion if he's in anyway not what he seems. Sleep well, little gnome, sleep well.
Tune in next time for A Little Gnome and a Lot of Chitin or Seriously G-leaf, If You Want to Armor Your "Knights", There's Probably Someone in the Army That Can Do That...Please Leave the Chuul. It Reaks!
posted by Amazing Shafeman at 8:32 AM
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