Dogfighting Volume 1

Immediately following the church assault, our heroes were summoned to a meeting tent. Those heroes, once again, were Brucilus Ar'Wayne - spellflinger, Ollie (I can't remember the last name, as I'm a bad DC punster) - ranger, and Tren Erdsmith - talespinner and embedded reporter. In the tent, they were greeted by their commander, Sarlissa of Heironus, their holy commander. She informed her team that she'd been reassigned and they were temporarily sans leader. To compensate for the lack of her strong sword arm, she introduced a new team member. Shamus Potts. A halfling.

No time for introductions, though. The team had a matter of hours before they had to fly out. While the army was pinned down their air corps had been sent to a different battle and had not returned yet. Our heroes were being assigned the possibly overwhelming task of flying ahead of the main force and clearing obstacles on the road. Only the road. Through modern magical technology, the army wouldn't be that far behind them utilizing a combination of forced march and magical gates.

With no leader, the team quickly erred from its course. Shortly into the journey, they began spotting random, but perfectly circular areas of dead forest. Veering off the road to investigate one that was relatively close, Ollie deduced that these areas had simply stopped living. No photosenthisis. No water recovery. Just death. There were no traces or detection of evil, arcane magic, or negative energy of any sort. Investigation was stopped short, though, with the arrival of a few beautiful(butt ugley) nekkid flying women we in the DM business like to call Harpies.

Of course, the first thing the harpies do is start to sing. Having essentially snuck up on the heroes, despite the fact that Ollie was the only one grounded, the music goes to work fast. Bruce finds himself the only hero not captivated, but even his damn hippogriff has fallen in love, meaning he's a wizard on a speeding bullet of doom. His constant barrage of spells is just enough to keep the harpies slightly occupied, meaning none of the team falls prey to any kind of auto kills, just toying glancing blows that cause a lot of pain.

Now, I can't remember Bruce's spell list, but it's extensive. He pert near depleted it. Burning Hands in spades, a fireball that wiped out Tren's eyebrows, and almost Tren, and the aid of a summoned Giant Eagle kept the party alive. Fortunately for all, one harpy had enthralled almost everyone, and the death of that bitch brought a countersinging bard back into the fray, as well as a still grounded ranging with a beautiful longbow. Once she was gone, the team became a short order cook of harpy killing. (Good thing for them I didn't fill like looking up the "attacking a helpless victims" rules.)

After a nap by Bruce (short one), and a thorough reaming by some grunt at HQ, the party set out again, only to be set upon by a couple of spixor Manticores from some serious cloud cover. Now, having a wizard with maybe two spells left and a party full of "I just wanna shoot with my bow" types means the mantis get a few spike shots off in short order. Bruce takes some serious spikes the face, as does his mount. Shamus charges in boldly and feels a few tail arrows, but manages to dodge his mount around them. In the meantime, Tren, composing a sonnet the whole time, and Ollie whip some arrow action into varioues flying porcupines. Bruce reaches a point of desperation, whips out a scrolle and fireballs the shit outta one manticore, melting his wings and sending the beastie plumetting to his doom. Nearly dead himself, he lands as well.

After much flinging of spikes, some fly-by claw attacks from all involved, and a couple of broken bow strings from both Ollie and Tren, our ugly ranger Ollie, puts on a burst of hippogriff speed, comes in close and starts some serious bird-mammal on spiny beast grappling action. It takes less than ten seconds from Ollie's steroid pumped hippogriff and his longsword to cut the summabitch into pieces.

With one horribly crippled halfling's hippogriff and one nearly dead wizard, the party makes a call to HQ, and are informed to return to the new camp. Fortunately on this front, the army is still pretty well-stocked, so there is much healing to spread around. (Boy did I make a mistake there.)

Next day finds the crew back in the air. Within site of the target city, the fly upon a barricade set up near the last of the serious cliffs. A flaming sphere dropped from on high wrecks the first of the unmanned wagon walls, but then a swarm of goblin mounted Giant Bees erupts from some unseen caves.

Split into two flanks, the bees come at the heroes from both sides. Two lightning bolts later, Bruce has knocked the foes down to one staticy goblin, mounted, and two unmounted bees. The unmounted bees fly as fast as their damaged wings can get them outta there. The last goblin goes suicidal and aims right for Brucilus Ar'Wayne, BeeCorp Destroyer. Sure, he's gonna die in the process, but not before his bee manages a sting, pumping Bruce full of some serious poison. Before that takes effect though, a color spray knocks little goblin boy unconscious and off his mount. Bruce and Shamus both dive to catch him, posessing Rings of Feather Falling and wishing for some tactical info from the little worm.

Shamus reaches him first, but both Bruce and Shamus realize they're falling a bit too fast for the rings to take effect in time. Shamus, being a monk, manages to utilize the cliff face to slow himself enough to pull the rip chord on his ring and save himself. Bruce does not. With his life flashing before his eyes, he feels a set of eagle talons rip into his shoulder as Ollie's mount pulls steeply out of a life saving dive. Unfortunately, his pack and flesh rip out from the g-forces, and Bruce hits the ground hard, but alive. Alive, but with a nasty bone proturding from the front of his leg, and severely poisoned by some angry giant vermin. Oh, and covered in goblin goo, cause Shamus dropped that bastard like a rock to save his own life.

Tune in about two weeks from now for "One-legged No Limit Air Corps Hold 'Em" or "Hop Along Panty Raid?"