Clear!

Usually, my Amazon Gold Box is the same stale old offers I haven't decided to spend money on yet. Golf clubs, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, Discworld, various off road motorsports movies. Not today. Today I almost dropped a grand at Amazon. On what?

Features:

• Philips is the worldwide leader in portable defibrillators on airplanes, and in airports, workplaces, communities, and homes
• The first and only defibrillator available over-the-counter that can be used by virtually anyone with the materials included
• Easy to use with guided interactive voice instructions
• Safely delivers a shock only if needed
• Reliably runs daily self-tests for readiness

That's right. A frickin portable, OVER THE COUNTER, I Can Buy It Without A License Defribilator! Frickin sweeeet.