pre-sleep
Let's see if I can throw this one out before my sleep labs start to arrive.... nope, I failed.
This morning, I'm awakened by a cry of "Rooooon!" coming from Wendy's office. Rather groggy at that point, it took me a few minutes to realize that Ron, our cat, had caught a mouse (great, a new pest in our apartment building that the landlords won't take care of) and had decided it would make a great gift for Wendy. She courteously accepted the gift by kicking the cats out of her office, shutting the door, and coming to get my aid in throwing the little pest's corpse away. Still rather groggy, I throw some clothes on to do just that.
Only it turns out the mouse wasn't dead and is no longer where Wendy left it. *shrug* I go back to bed figering the cats'll make a meal of it. Wendy, however, doesn't want them to catch a disease, so goes hunting for the little beast. She finds it under her book shelf. After some unsuccessful prodding with my big wooden axe, trying to catch the little feller in a bowl, she enlists my aid once again. Eventually, we get the little bastard out from under the book shelf, but of course, that's happens RIGHT AFTER Wendy had deserted her post at that end of the shelf.
Now the fucker is behind a bigger book shelf that I aint gonna move. Time to reenlist the cats. By this time, they've went and got stupid again, so of course they can't figure out the little guy ran behind the bookshelf. Fortunately, the mere presence of the cats in the room means the mouse is seeking higher ground. Eight inches higher. He climbed a rubber drum mallet propped againt the wall, clinging to the rubber ball like a life raft (at eye level with the cats).
Now, I know what you're thinking. The same thoughts ran through my head. First, wouldn't it be great if the cats spotted the mouse at that point and all hell broke loose. Yeah. Unfortunately, hell had a date in another location this morning. Second, a mouse clinging to the end of a rubber mallet? SQUISH IT!!!! Yeah, that'a been cool as hell to grab the mallet and smash the mouse. Hell, even to run outside and start flailing about on the side walk would have been fun. hahahaha.
Unfortunately, my woman is a humanitarian. At least where small, cute furry things are concerned. (Hence the plastic bowl to begin with) In a rather anticlimactic move, she grabbed the mallet, mouse and all with a plastic garbage bag and took the whole kit and kaboodle outside to set the not quite Ralph free. (Ralph, of course, referring to the cool mouse from The Mouse and the Motorcycle.) I hope she set it free in the dumpster, so that it's freedom means a quick trip to the landfill where it can live out its days in a nice posh garbage filled way.
And that's that. An adventure worthy of Hercules himself.
This morning, I'm awakened by a cry of "Rooooon!" coming from Wendy's office. Rather groggy at that point, it took me a few minutes to realize that Ron, our cat, had caught a mouse (great, a new pest in our apartment building that the landlords won't take care of) and had decided it would make a great gift for Wendy. She courteously accepted the gift by kicking the cats out of her office, shutting the door, and coming to get my aid in throwing the little pest's corpse away. Still rather groggy, I throw some clothes on to do just that.
Only it turns out the mouse wasn't dead and is no longer where Wendy left it. *shrug* I go back to bed figering the cats'll make a meal of it. Wendy, however, doesn't want them to catch a disease, so goes hunting for the little beast. She finds it under her book shelf. After some unsuccessful prodding with my big wooden axe, trying to catch the little feller in a bowl, she enlists my aid once again. Eventually, we get the little bastard out from under the book shelf, but of course, that's happens RIGHT AFTER Wendy had deserted her post at that end of the shelf.
Now the fucker is behind a bigger book shelf that I aint gonna move. Time to reenlist the cats. By this time, they've went and got stupid again, so of course they can't figure out the little guy ran behind the bookshelf. Fortunately, the mere presence of the cats in the room means the mouse is seeking higher ground. Eight inches higher. He climbed a rubber drum mallet propped againt the wall, clinging to the rubber ball like a life raft (at eye level with the cats).
Now, I know what you're thinking. The same thoughts ran through my head. First, wouldn't it be great if the cats spotted the mouse at that point and all hell broke loose. Yeah. Unfortunately, hell had a date in another location this morning. Second, a mouse clinging to the end of a rubber mallet? SQUISH IT!!!! Yeah, that'a been cool as hell to grab the mallet and smash the mouse. Hell, even to run outside and start flailing about on the side walk would have been fun. hahahaha.
Unfortunately, my woman is a humanitarian. At least where small, cute furry things are concerned. (Hence the plastic bowl to begin with) In a rather anticlimactic move, she grabbed the mallet, mouse and all with a plastic garbage bag and took the whole kit and kaboodle outside to set the not quite Ralph free. (Ralph, of course, referring to the cool mouse from The Mouse and the Motorcycle.) I hope she set it free in the dumpster, so that it's freedom means a quick trip to the landfill where it can live out its days in a nice posh garbage filled way.
And that's that. An adventure worthy of Hercules himself.
posted by Amazing Shafeman at 4:52 PM
1 Comments:
Do I need extra cash? Yes! Do I want to learn how to get it from some jackass comments left on a blog? No. Something like, "way to fuck that mouse up" would have been way cooler.
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